There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. Next comes The Second Book of HERMAS, called his COMMANDS. (Sit tight, hang on, we are about to discover some major BS.)
Of avoiding lying, and the repentance of Hermas for his dissimulation.
MOREOVER he said unto me, love truth; and let all the speech be true which proceeds out of thy mouth.
2 That the spirit which the Lord hath given to dwell in thy flesh may be found true towards all men; and the Lord be glorified, who hath given such a spirit unto thee: because God is true in all his words, and in him there is no lie.
3 They therefore that lie, deny the Lord, and become robbers of the Lord, not rendering to God what they received from him.
4 For they received the spirit free from lying: If therefore they make that a liar, they defile what was committed to them by the Lord, and become deceivers.
5 When I heard this, I wept bitterly; and when he saw me weeping, he said unto me, Why weepest thou? And I said, Because, sir, I doubt whether I can be saved?
6 He asked me, Wherefore? I replied, because sir, I never spake a true word in my life; but always lived in dissimulation, and affirmed a lie for truth to all men; and no man contradicted me, but all gave credit to my words. How then can I live, seeing I have done in this, manner?
7 And he said unto me, Thou thinkest well and truly. For thou oughtest, as the servant of God, to have walked in the truth, and not have joined an evil conscience with the spirit of truth, nor have grieved the holy and true Spirit of God.
8 And I replied unto him, sir, I never before hearkened so diligently to these things. He answered, Now thou hearest them: Take care from henceforth, that even those things which thou hast formerly spoken falsely for the sake of thy business, may, by thy present truth receive credit.
9 For even those things may be credited, if for the time to come thou shalt speak the truth; and by so doing thou mayest attain unto life.
10 And whosoever shall hearken unto this command, and do it, and shall depart from all lying, he shall live unto God.