There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. Next comes The Second Book of HERMAS, called his COMMANDS. (Sit tight, hang on, we are about to discover some major BS.)
That every man has two angels, and of the suggestions of both.
I COMMANDED thee, said he, in my first commandments, that thou shouldst keep faith and fear, and repentance. Yes, Sir, said I.
2 He continued: But now I will shew thee the virtues of these commands, that thou mayest know their effects; how they are prescribed alike to the just and unjust.
3 Do thou therefore believe the righteous, but give no credit to the unrighteous. For righteousness keepeth the right way, but unrighteousness the wicked way.
4 Do thou therefore keep the right way, and leave that which is evil. For the evil way has not a good end, but hath many stumbling-blocks; it is rugged and full of thorns, and leads to destruction; and it is hurtful to all such as walk in it.
5 But they who go in the right way, walk with evenness, and without offence; because it is not rough nor thorny.
6 Thou seest therefore how it is best to walk in this way. Thou shalt therefore go, says he, and all others, as many as believe in God with all their heart, shall o through it.
7 And now, says he; understand first of all what belongs to faith. There are two angels with man; one of righteousness, the other of iniquity.
8 And I said unto him: Sir, how shall I know that there are two such angels with man? Hear says he, and understand.
9 The angel of righteousness, is mild and modest, and gentle, and quiet. When therefore, he gets into thy heart, immediately he talks with thee of righteousness, of modesty, of chastity, of bountifulness, of forgiveness, of charity, and piety.
10 When all these things come into thy heart, know then that the angel of righteousness is with thee. Wherefore hearken to this angel and to his works.
11 Learn also the works of the angel of iniquity. He is first of all bitter, and angry, and foolish; and his works are pernicious, and overthrow the servants of God. When therefore these things come into thy heart; thou shalt know by his works, that this is the angel of iniquity.
12 And I said unto him, Sir, how shall I understand these things? Hear says he, and understand. When anger overtakes thee, or bitterness, know that he is in thee:
13 As also, when the desire of many things, and of the best meats and of drunkenness; when the love of what belongs to others, pride, and much speaking and ambition, and the like things, come upon thee.
14 When therefore these things arise in thy heart, know that the angel of iniquity is with thee. Seeing therefore thou knowest his works, depart from them all, and give no credit to him: because his works are evil, and become not the servants of God.
15 Here therefore thou hast the works of both these angels. Understand now and believe the angel of righteousness, because his instruction is good.
16 For let a man be never so happy; yet if the thoughts of the other angel arise in his heart, that man or woman must needs sin.
17 But let man or woman be never so wicked, if the works of the angel of righteousness come into his heart, that man or woman must needs do some good.
18 Thou seest therefore how it is good to follow the angel of righteousness. If therefore thou shall follow him, and submit to his works, thou shalt live unto God. And as many as shall submit to his work, shall live also unto God.