There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. Next comes The Second Book of HERMAS, called his COMMANDS. (Sit tight, hang on, we are about to discover some major BS.)
That the spirits and prophets are to be tried by their works; and of a twofold spirit.
HE shewed me certain men sitting upon benches, and one sitting in a chair: and he said unto me seest thou who sit upon the benches? Sir, said I, I see them. He answered, They are the faithful; and he who sits in the chair is an earthly spirit.
2 For he cometh not into the assembly of the faithful, but avoids it. But he joins himself to the doubtful and empty; and prophesies to them in corners and hidden places; and pleases them by speaking according to all the desires of their hearts.
3 For he placing himself among empty vessels, is not broken, but the one fitteth the other. But when he cometh into the company of just men, who are full of the spirit of God, and they pray unto the Lord; that man is emptied because that earthly spirit flies from him, and he is dumb, and cannot speak anything.
4 As if in a store-house you shall stop up wine or oil; and among those vessels shall place an empty jar; and shall afterwards come to open it, you shall find it empty as you stopped it up: so those empty prophets when they come among the spirits of the just, are found to be such as they came.
5 I said, How then shall a man be able to discern them? Consider what I am going to say considering both kinds of men; and as I speak unto thee so shalt thou prove the prophet of God, and the false prophet.
6 And first try the man who hath the spirit of God; because the spirit which is from above is humble, and quiet; and departs from all wickedness; and from the vain desires of the present world; and makes himself more humble than all men; and answers to none when he is asked; nor to every one singly: for the Spirit of God doth not speak to a man when he will, but when God pleases.
7 When therefore a man who hath the Spirit of God shall come into the church of the righteous, who have the faith of God, and they pray unto the Lord; then the holy angel of God fills that man with the blessed Spirit, and he speaks in the congregation as he is moved of God.
8 Thus therefore is the spirit of God known, because whosoever speaketh by the Spirit of God, speaketh as the Lord will.
9 Hear now concerning the earthly spirit, which is empty and foolish, and without virtue. And first of all the man who is supposed to have the Spirit, (whereas he hath it not in reality), exalteth himself, and desires to have the first seat, and is wicked, and full of words.
10 And spends his time in pleasure, and in all manner of voluptuousness; and receives the reward of his divination; which if he receives not, he does not divine.
11 Should the Spirit of God receive reward and divine? It doth not become a prophet of God so to do.
12 Thus you see the life of each of these kind of prophets. Wherefore prove that man by his life and works, who says that he hath the Holy Spirit. And believe the Spirit which comes from God, and has power as such. But believe not the earthly and empty spirit, which is from the devil, in whom there is no faith nor virtue.
13 Hear now the similitude which I am about to speak unto thee. Take a stone, and throw it up towards heaven; or take a spout of water, and mount it up thitherward; and see if thou canst reach unto heaven.
14 Sir, said I, how can this be done? For neither of those things which you have mentioned, are possible to be done. And he answered, Therefore as these things cannot be done, so is the earthly spirit without virtue, and without effect.
15 Understand yet farther the power which cometh from above, in this similitude. The grains of hail that drop down are exceedingly small; and yet when they fall upon the head of a man, how do they cause pain to it?
16 And again; consider the droppings of a house: how the little drops falling upon the earth, work a hollow in the stones.
17 So in like manner the least things which come from above, and fall upon the earth, have great force. Wherefore join thyself to this spirit, which has the power; and depart from the other which is empty.