There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. Next comes The Third Book of HERMAS, which is called his SIMILITUDES. (Sit tight, hang on, we are about to discover some major BS.)
That they who repent, must bring forth fruits worthy of repentance.
AFTER a few days I saw the same person that before talked with me, in the same field, in which I had seen those shepherds. And he said unto me; What seekest thou?
2 Sir, said I, I came to entreat you that you would command the shepherd, who is the minister of punishment, to depart out of my house, because he greatly afflicts me.
3 And he answered, It is necessary for thee to endure inconveniences and vexations; for so that good angel hath commanded concerning thee, because he would try thee.
4 Sir, said I; What so great offence have I committed, that I should be delivered to this messenger? Hearken, said he: Thou art indeed guilty of many sins, yet not so many that thou shouldest be delivered to this messenger.
5 But thy house hath committed many sins and offences, and therefore that good messenger being grieved at their doings commanded that for some time thou shouldst suffer affliction; that they may both repent of what they have done, and may wash themselves from all the lusts of this present world.
6 When therefore they shall have repented, and be purified, then that messenger which is appointed over thy punishment, shall depart from thee.
7 I said unto him; Sir, if they have behaved themselves so as to anger that good angel, yet what have I done? He answered: They cannot otherwise be afflicted, unless thou, who art the head of the family, suffer.
8 For whatsoever thou shalt suffer, they must needs feel it; but as long as thou shalt stand well established, they cannot experience any vexation.
9 I replied; But, sir, behold they also now repent with all their hearts. I know, says he, that they repent with all their hearts; but dost thou therefore think that their offences who repent are immediately blotted out?
10 No, they are not presently; but he that repents must afflict his soul and shew himself humble in all his affairs, and undergo many and divers vexations.
11 And when he shall have suffered all things that were appointed for him; then perhaps he that made him, and formed all things besides, will be moved with compassion towards him, and afford him some remedy; and especially if he shall perceive his heart, who repents, to be pure from every evil work.
12 But at present it is expedient for thee, and for thy house, to be grieved; and it is needful that thou shouldest endure much vexation, as the angel of the Lord who committed thee unto me, has commanded.
13 Rather give thanks unto the Lord, that knowing what was to come, he thought thee worthy to whom he should foretell that trouble was coming upon thee, who art able to bear it.
14 I said unto him; Sir, be but thou also with me, and I shall easily undergo any trouble. I will, said he, be with thee; and I will entreat the messenger who is set over thy punishment, that he would moderate his afflictions towards thee.
15 And moreover thou shalt suffer adversity but for a little time; and then thou shalt again be restored to thy former state; only continue on in the humility of thy mind.
16 Obey the Lord with a pure heart; thou, and thy house, and thy children; and walk in the commands which I have delivered unto thee; and then thy repentance may be firm and pure.
17 And if thou shalt keep these things with thy house, thy inconveniences shall depart from thee.
18 And all vexation shall in like manner depart from all those, whosoever shall walk according to these commands.