There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Among them:
These are a few passages that every parent should read to their kids, in the car, on their way to church. Found in the bible, they are examples of God’s potty mouth, that are so disgusting, so vile, that you will never, ever, hear them in a church, temple or religious hole in the wall. The ‘cafeteria’ leaders make sure you don’t hear these passages from them when they go to the biblical buffet table to pick and choose whatever biblical verses that can maximize their impact on your wallet.
-Psalms 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones. (Demented criminal lunacy and infanticide, mentally disturbed and preoccupied with brutality. It is still done today; bombs from airplanes are used instead of stones.)
-Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. (Condoning child abuse)
-Leviticus 20:10 And the man that committeth adultery with another man’s wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. (God shall surely be put to death for this one)
-Mark 12:19 Master, Moses wrote unto us, If a man’s brother die, and leave his wife behind him, and leave no children, that his brother should take his wife, and raise up seed unto his brother. (Condoning adultery)
-Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. (Mind control)
-Leviticus 19:27 Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard.28 Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD. (Banning barbershop and tattoo parlor. See below)
-Mark 9:43 And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched: (Condoning body mutilations. See above.)
-Exodus 22:16 And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife.17 If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins. (Condoning rape and slavery)
-Proverbs 22:14 The mouth of strange women is a deep pit: he that is abhorred of the LORD shall fall therein. (Potty mouth God)
-Nahum 3:5-6 “Behold, I am against thee, saith the LORD of hosts; and I will discover thy skirts upon thy face, and I will shew the nations thy nakedness, and the kingdoms thy shame. And I will cast abominable filth upon thee, and make the vile, and will set thee as gazingstock.” (God’s filthy delirious ways)
-Nahum 3:6 NJB “Look, I am against you!- declares Yahweh Saboath- I shall lift your skirts as high as your face and show your nakedness to the nations, your shame to the kingdoms. I shall pelt you with filth.” (Same as above)
-2 Chronicles 12:18-19 “And after all this the LORD smote him in his bowels with an incurable disease. And it came to pass, that in process of time, after the end of two years, his bowels fell out by reason of sickness: so he died of sore diseases. And his people made no burning for him, like the burning of his fathers.” (Condoning crimes against humanity, violence, suffering and depraved biological warfare)
-Malachi 2:3 Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it. (God’s poop fetish)
-Isaiah 16:11 Wherefore my bowels shall sound like an harp for Moab, and mine inward parts for Kirharesh. (God’s other fetish, farting)
-Isaiah 20:2 At the same time spake the LORD by Isaiah the son of Amoz, saying, Go and loose the sackcloth from off thy loins, and put off thy shoe from thy foot. And he did so, walking naked and barefoot.3 And the LORD said, Like as my servant Isaiah hath walked naked and barefoot three years for a sign and wonder upon Egypt and upon Ethiopia;4 So shall the king of Assyria lead away the Egyptians prisoners, and the Ethiopians captives, young and old, naked and barefoot, even with their buttocks uncovered, to the shame of Egypt.
(Religious services would be a lot more fun if the officiating crooks and thieves would follow the words of their boss and show the glory of God by preaching naked.)
These are not words, deeds, exploits that belong in the resume of a good, merciful and loving God. And many feel no shame in teaching that crap to their kids. This biblical cesspool is what your pastor, priest, evangelist, spiritual leader, use to get tax free money from you so s/he can afford a mansion, airplane, expensive cars, flashy jewelry, air-conditioned dog house, shopping spree for the mistress, drugs and the service of hookers.